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28 coolest super powers – 7-1

7. Super strength

You don’t have to work out to get that hot bod, just get super strength (muscles and hot bods go together, just look at all the super heroes).  On top of that, you can lift your car.  Don’t worry about parallel parking, just place your car in the spot.  And if there’s a no parking sign, just lift it out of the ground and move it some where else.  See, there’s lots of great real-world applications for super strength.

Examples: Superman, Hulk, Thing

brain 6. Super intelligence

Ok, take this one to the extreme.  This is like, any language you hear, you instantly understand.  Or you can invent time machines out of coffee cans (even MacGyver failed there).  You could solve every unsolved mystery in the galaxy.  So many you won’t do all that yourself, but having a nice 400 I.Q. or something could make for some profitable endeavors.  Think of yourself as Bill Gates time a million.  Yeah, being smart might have sucked during grade school, but once you’ve made that first million, the suits and sluts will be lining up.  Or sluts in suits, whatever you’re into.

Examples: Braniac 5, Mister Fantastic

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28 coolest super powers – 14-8

14. Bullet proof/invulnerability

From a punch to the face to falling out of a plane, you just can’t get hurt.  They might say no pain, no gain, but who really cares about that.  Pain sucks.  You might not be able to peak anyone up, but if someone tries to hurt you, you can just laugh in their face.  Think of it as the make-high-school-easier power.

Examples: Superman

13. Duplication

Calvin and Hobbes, from Universal Press Syndicate

More of anything. You.  Money.  Your girl/boyfriend.  Yup, easy as that.

Examples: Multiple Man, Multiple Man, Multiple Man

12. Control machines

Windows Blue Screen of Death, from Microsoft

Does it feel like your computer hates you?  Will the washing machine never shut up?  Do you want your toaster to dance?  If you could talk to them, maybe they’d listen.  This uber-science-fictiony power could let you control the internet or just keep your refrigerator quiet, but both applications sound pretty awesome.  You’ll never worry about bandwidth again or not having the right tool for the job.  Hell, with enough skill, you could make your cellphone play PSP games.  What, we’re talking about make believe here, work with me.

Examples: Mayor Hundred (Ex Machina)

11. Regeneration

Jump off buildings, shoot yourself, or cut off an arm – it’ll hurt – but you’ll be just fine.  It might be cool to never get hurt, but it’s even cooler to just regrown everything.  Regeneration let’s you have some fun with life without worrying about silly things like death.  Regeneration isn’t simply invulnerability.  You can technically get hurt, but it doesn’t last.  Everything heals.  Even old age.  Maybe you’ll die at some point from old age (really, really, really old age), but nothing around can really do permanent damage to you (though you’re not technically immortal).  To life free and crazy.  No day can be your last.

Examples: Wolverine, Claire (Heroes), Adam Monroe (Heroes)

10. Time Travel

Want to see the dinosaurs?  Or maybe have lunch with with Leonardo Da Vinci.  Or better yet, invest a couple of bucks in Microsoft during its infancy.  Yeah, have some laughs, make a few million.  It’s all good.  The biggest downside to this power is just how risky it is changing time.  You don’t want to end up in a world where everyone’s a doughnut.  Or do you?

Examples: Hiro (Heroes)

teleportation 9. Teleportation

If you’ve ever run late, had a crappy commute, or been stuck in traffic, you can understand how awesome teleportation would be.  With a thought you could be somewhere else.  Wake up five minutes before work and then just snap your fingers to appear at your desk early.  Want to take a long lunch? Teleport in and out with no one the wiser.  Forgot Grandma’s Christmas present? Just teleport home and back, a real life hero.  Teleporting earns its spot for the fringe benefits.  You might not easily win the lottery (though stealing stuff and teleporting away is doable) or get laid, but you’ll have so much more time not traveling, you can learn to play an instrument (to win over the ladies/men) or play the stock market (also to win over the ladies/men).  Or to really impress them, teleport past bouncers and guards to get into exclusive clubs/concerts or movie premieres.  Make yourself look like one of the social elite and many someone will actually fall for it.

Examples: Nightcrawler

8. Flight

Possibly the most romantic super-power of all.  Yes, we all remember Superman flying with Lois, but flying is romantic not just as an aphrodisiac.  It’s the idea of soaring in the sky, with total freedom – no boundaries.  This power will not provide you wealth or women but you’ll have the thrill of your life.  Plus, avoiding the traffic to work is always a plus.

Examples: Superman


28 coolest super powers – 21-15

Dr. Dolittle, 20th Century Fox 21. Talk to animals

You’ll feel like an idiot the first couple of times, but you can be a living Dr. Dolittle.  And while there’s many better things to do than be a veterinarian, talking to animals would lead to some amazing conversations…I expect.  Find out why dogs sniff each others’ butts, what do cows think of being tipped over, do horses like being ridden, and why does my cat hate me.  All these answers can be yours to share with the world…and then have them call you insane.  But it’d still be cool.  Plus, it’s a lot easier to teach your dog to use the toilet if you know how to say toilet in dog.

Examples: Dr. Dolittle

20. Walk through walls

Never worry about losing your keys again.  This simple power allows you to avoid all those annoying solid objects in the world.  Perfect for simply getting out of a crowded room (just walk through everyone) to the less moral bank robbery (reach your hand into any locked case).

Examples: Shadowcat

19. Illusion

We always try to fool our parents and friends with pillows in the bed or feigning sickness, but now you can fool them all without fail.  Make anything from your imagination come to reality and let it fool everyone around.  Make people think you’re wearing Armani or get rid of that pimple.  You could be totally naked with no hair and no one would no.  Joke’s on them.

Examples: Mastermind

18. Manipulate molecules

Think of this as telekinesis on the microscopic level.  Instead of moving objects with your mind, you’re just moving molecules.  So maybe you’ll have to study physics a bit, but this can be a pretty powerful power.  Rearrange molecules to make new, twisted objects or maybe even chemicals.  Beats actually cooking, just mix the flour and sugar together to make your cookies.  There’s probably other applications, but when there’s cookies, who cares?

Examples: Molecule Man

X-Ray glasses, from Amazon.com 17. X-Ray

Pick between door #1 and #2.  Now it’s not a guess, cause you can see what’s behind both.  So maybe this power works best on game shows, but there are other, naughtier applications for x-ray vision and the like.  Don’t tell me you haven’t imagined it.  I want to help diagnosis broken bones too.  Seriously.

Examples: Superman, X-ray glasses from comic books

16    Control weather

If you hate the rain and prefer 73 degrees, controlling the weather might be just for you.  If you want to skip work, call for a snow storm.  If you’re going the beach, make sure it’s sunny and warm.  Want the leaves cleared away?  Just call for a gust of wind.

Examples: Storm

15. See the future

You won’t get hit by the speed car cause you’ll see it coming.  At the same time you’ll make millions playing the stock market.  Sure some of the surprise in life will be gone, but risk and no reward is just no fun.

Examples: Destiny


28 coolest super powers – 28-22

This week Prodigeek highlights the 28 coolest super powers to have. These are super powers that can make your life better – easier to get fame, fortune, and fellatio. These powers also can just make your life easier.  Embarrassing side effects like turn blue are looked down upon (it hurts the fellatio…some of the time). So start hanging around nuclear test sites so you can have your very own cool super power.

Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors, from Warner Bros. 28. Control plants

It sounds corny, but think about how many plants there are.  Yeah, they’re everywhere.  There’s some limited application, but with some creative planning (and interior decorating) you can make your home a self-sufficient cleaning and producing machine.  Keep your yard stocked with fruits and veggies, make the vines paint your house, and keep a giant Venus fly trap around for security.  You’ll feel silly doing it, but it’ll be worth it.

Examples: Poison Ivy

27. Super agility

Jump 50 feet, do the limbo 10 inches off the floor, and bounce off walls like Daffy Duck.  Yes, the you can enjoy the acrobatic finesse of a trapeze artist or gymnast without all the sweat and toil and practice.  Sure this isn’t as glamorous as super strength, but think about all those kick-ass fighting games.  How fun are the tiny agile characters.  Yeah, the girls, but there were guys too.  And they were fun.  In an androgynous sort of way.  Still, agility is fun.

Examples: Spider-Man

26. Super senses

You can hear, see, touch, taste, and feel, flawlessly.  Ok, so maybe there’s some negatives (bad smells smell worse), but on the plus side, you can listen into any conversation in your office and help spread the gossip.  Or read the newspaper by feeling the ink raised on the paper (that’s what Daredevil does).  Super senses sounds silly, and always sniffing the air will make you look silly, but there’s still some fun to be had.  You wanna be like Wolverine don’t you?

Examples: Wolverine, Daredevil

Poker, form http://ur.rutgers.edu/medrel/images/poker.jpg 25. Probability control

So this may stink for fighting crime, but it rocks at playing craps.  Yes, don’t worry about that 1,000 to 1 shot cause with a snap of your fingers, it can be a sure thing.  Want to make that straight flush in Vegas.  No problem.  Any bets will be an easy win for you.  And to really impress your friends, mess with the probabilities to make your favorite win American Idol.  Yeah, that’ll show ’em.

Examples: Scarlet Witch

24. Immortality

So living past all your loved one might suck, but there are some pluses like never worrying about dying.  Yup, living forever can just be pretty damn fun.  You can travel the world, have ever experience, and never worry about filling each day as if it’s your last.

Examples: Duncan MacLeod (Highlander)

23. Control metal

Think of this as specialized telekinesis.  Move cars, planes, and dog collars with the power of your mind.  If you’re really powerful, you can even control the iron in people’s blood.  Yeah, get that blood rushing in all the right places.  You might have some limitations on your powers (you can only control metal, remember), but that’s a ton of stuff.  So don’t worry.  Be happy.

Examples: Magneto

22. Shoot elements/control elements

Human Torch, from 20th Century Fox

This is kind of a catch-all for being able to manipulate fire or water or air or earth.  Having all would obviously kick more ass, but let’s assume for the sake of this list that you only get one element, like the Human Torch or Iceman.  Different elements have different awesomeness about them from being able to warm yourself when it’s cold (or cool yourself in the heat), splash people in the face, and more.  It takes some creativity to makes these powers help your daily life – they’re much better for super heroing, but offer such a range of skills.

Examples: Human Torch, Iceman, Hydro Man, Terra


7 super-heroes lives worth living

Many of us dream of being our favorite super-hero, from living the exciting adventuring life to having kick-ass super powers.  We forget, though, how much being these characters sucks.  Most of them have died multiple times (Mr. Fantastic).  Some have tragic, depressing, haunting lives (Batman) that just keep getting worse and worse (Daredevil).  Some heroes can’t get a date because they’re pathetic (Spider-Man) or ugly (Nightcrawler).  This list weighs all the pros and cons, from great powers and fringe benefits to number of times dead, of literally living the life, continuity blips and all, of major super heroes to find out the lives most worth living.

iron_man_movie 7. Iron Man

He’s an alcoholic with major father issues and shrapnel in his chest.  But he does have billions of dollars and lots of women to sleep with. That means it’s easy to cure the syphilis I’m sure he gets on a regular basis.  Tony Stark’s life offers the best toys, cars, and women money can buy, but you’ll have to spend every few months in rehab or rebuilding your business from scratch.  There’s also your teenage version from an alternate future who replaces you at least once, but that’s no biggie – everyone just things you got plastic surgery to look younger and even more fabulous.

6. Flash (Wally West)

This is the simple life in fast forward.  You have a sweet wife and adorable twins with super speed (ouch).  Of course you died recently and had the entire world mind-wiped to forget your secret identity, but everything is pleasant now, repelling alien invasions and teaming up with the Justice League just like you always wanted to as a child (when you were Kid Flash, remember).  But now you’ve got the wife, two kids, and super duper speed.  It’s the American Dream.

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Legal rights of Batman, Turkey

You thought you knew Batman.  Apparently the billionaire playboy turned crime fighter is a southeastern city in Turkey.  Mayor Hüseyin Kalkan is suing Christopher Nolan, the director of the “The Dark Knight” and “Batman Begins” for infringing on the city’s name.

“The royalty of the name ‘Batman’ belongs to us … There is only one Batman in the world. The American producers used the name of our city without informing us,” said Kalkan to the Do?an news agency.  He claims citizens are not able to use the town name for businesses.

Kalkan likely has no merit, one because he is suing Nolan, not DC Comics, who own the copyright and trademark on Batman, or Warner Bros. who made the movie; and two because local regions cannot be registered as brand names in Turkey.  Though I do think local businesses should be able to use their town name without legal threats from DC (only one account this might have happened), this is more an example of a major overstating intellectual property rights and suing the wrong person.


7 most-wanted comic book video games

Comic book video games have well documented crapiness with a few shining gems.  The problem is comic book geeks (like me) want these comic book games. We want to feel like Spider-Man, and Superman, and Batman.  These are the comic books game that will best bring to life a new super hero experience.

7. Flash

A sandbox Central City might not be on everyone’s Christmas list, but it’s the only way to do Flash justice.  This speedster needs a huge environment to zoom through, fighting Gorilla Grodd, Mirror Master, and Reverse Flash as he tries to save his iron_man wife and kids (this is the Wally West Flash, Barry Allen’s unlockable). Key battles pit you against teamed up villains for high pressure boss battles.

6. Real Iron Man game

The recent Iron Man game unfortunately sucked. But this awesome character should be a video game staple.  Let’s revamp the controls (more control, less speed) and focus the campaign on the Mandarin and his rag-tag group of baddies. The twist is this is an action/business simulation game.

In Mega Man-esque level choosing, you fight Whirlwind, Dreadknight, Crimson Dynamo, and more. Give us some epic boss battles with Fin Fang Foom and Ultimo and even a Dr. Doom sidequest.

The business sim comes from Tony Stark. You choose how to run Stark Enterprises, with some investments making the company more valuable and other investments making your armor more powerful.  By running the company well, you make money in order to buy those upgrades and other armor types. If you run the company badly, Justin Hammer will buy it up and you won’t be able to upgrade your armor.

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7 best super-hero siblings

Annoying brothers and sisters affect even the greatest heroes and villains of comic book world.  These pairs (and quartet) of spandex wearing freaks make sibling rivalry a moral lesson for us all, and page filler until the next battle.  These are the siblings worth watching fight and frolic, no matter the awkwardness.

7. Starmen, Jack and David Knight

The original Starman, Ted Knight, had two loving sons with different take’s on their father’s career choice. David quickly followed his father into super heroics while Jack looked down on the colorful profession. After their father’s old foe, the Mist, murdered David did Jack take over the Starman mantle. With the Cosmic Staff and a pair of goggles, Jack Knight fought crime with the annual assistance of his brother’s ghost, who imparted wisdom from the beyond to help Jack foil the doers of evil.

northstar_aurora 6. Northstar and Aurora

Canadian super-siblings Northstar and Aurora spent most of their youth separated after their parents’ death. The two coincidently reunited as members of Canadian super-team Alpha Flight, discovering they earn bonus super powers when in physical contact. When the two touched, they emitted a beam of light that made people feel happy and peaceful. How sweet. The power didn’t work on themselves, however, since they had a falling out leading Aurora to augment her powers so she never needed to touch her gay brother again. Homophobe.

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7 geekiest geek hobbies

There are many factions within the geek community, most viciously opposing and plot the death of other factions. Just try to get a Star Trek fan to agree with a Star Wars fan on anything. The truth is there is a hierarchy of geeks, and geeks in higher parts of that hierarchy are well in their power to look down on those lower in the hierarchy, the same way jocks and cheerleaders look down on all geeks. This list ranks the geekiest of geek hobbies in, well, order of geekiness. Enjoy one of these doesn’t make you a bad person. Just really, really geeky.

star_wars_geek 7. Star Wars geek

When it comes to sci-fi geekdom, Star Wars wins. It’s just huge, with every comic book, novel, action figure, and video game to collect, memorize, and horde. No other single franchise can match this insanity.

How to know if you are one: You have read anything Star Wars related outside of the 6 movies

Wastes money on: Anything Star Wars related outside of the 6 movies

anime_geek 6. Anime

Pokemon has helped turn anime into a less embarrassing hobby, as long as you are younger than 12. Once you his puberty, it’s time to hide those big-eyed cartoons and start watching South Park. But some geeks can’t break the habit. They just love the speed lines.

How to know if you are one: You understand anime

Wastes money on: Subtitle software and Japanese lessons

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7 games in need of Lego treatment

One of the greatest Star Wars video games owes it all to those little building blocks called Legos. Lego Star Wars gave the duel trilogy a hilarious and enjoyable romp through the galaxy with tons of collectables, vehicles, and playable characters. More Lego games including the just released Indiana Jones and upccoming Batman lead me to wonder what else can the franchise build.

7. Power Rangers

They might be campy and kiddy, but they still have awesome video game potential yet to be realized. Awesome martial arts moves with cool weapons and giant robots all to fight a bizarre assortment of monsters. With hundreds of monsters, Zords, and different kinds of Power Rangers over the years, there’s tons of unlockables to give this game long legs. Just remember co-op. This is a team effort.

lego_cartman 6. South Park

Let’s see the mature side of Legos by turning the foul mouthed kids of Colorado into colorful blocks of fun. Let’s even risk the cliched sandbox approach, rebuilding the entire town of South Park in Legos with missions from the show, like fighting vicious turkeys and Mecha-Streisand.

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