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28 coolest super powers – 7-1

7. Super strength

You don’t have to work out to get that hot bod, just get super strength (muscles and hot bods go together, just look at all the super heroes).  On top of that, you can lift your car.  Don’t worry about parallel parking, just place your car in the spot.  And if there’s a no parking sign, just lift it out of the ground and move it some where else.  See, there’s lots of great real-world applications for super strength.

Examples: Superman, Hulk, Thing

brain 6. Super intelligence

Ok, take this one to the extreme.  This is like, any language you hear, you instantly understand.  Or you can invent time machines out of coffee cans (even MacGyver failed there).  You could solve every unsolved mystery in the galaxy.  So many you won’t do all that yourself, but having a nice 400 I.Q. or something could make for some profitable endeavors.  Think of yourself as Bill Gates time a million.  Yeah, being smart might have sucked during grade school, but once you’ve made that first million, the suits and sluts will be lining up.  Or sluts in suits, whatever you’re into.

Examples: Braniac 5, Mister Fantastic

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28 coolest super powers – 14-8

14. Bullet proof/invulnerability

From a punch to the face to falling out of a plane, you just can’t get hurt.  They might say no pain, no gain, but who really cares about that.  Pain sucks.  You might not be able to peak anyone up, but if someone tries to hurt you, you can just laugh in their face.  Think of it as the make-high-school-easier power.

Examples: Superman

13. Duplication

Calvin and Hobbes, from Universal Press Syndicate

More of anything. You.  Money.  Your girl/boyfriend.  Yup, easy as that.

Examples: Multiple Man, Multiple Man, Multiple Man

12. Control machines

Windows Blue Screen of Death, from Microsoft

Does it feel like your computer hates you?  Will the washing machine never shut up?  Do you want your toaster to dance?  If you could talk to them, maybe they’d listen.  This uber-science-fictiony power could let you control the internet or just keep your refrigerator quiet, but both applications sound pretty awesome.  You’ll never worry about bandwidth again or not having the right tool for the job.  Hell, with enough skill, you could make your cellphone play PSP games.  What, we’re talking about make believe here, work with me.

Examples: Mayor Hundred (Ex Machina)

11. Regeneration

Jump off buildings, shoot yourself, or cut off an arm – it’ll hurt – but you’ll be just fine.  It might be cool to never get hurt, but it’s even cooler to just regrown everything.  Regeneration let’s you have some fun with life without worrying about silly things like death.  Regeneration isn’t simply invulnerability.  You can technically get hurt, but it doesn’t last.  Everything heals.  Even old age.  Maybe you’ll die at some point from old age (really, really, really old age), but nothing around can really do permanent damage to you (though you’re not technically immortal).  To life free and crazy.  No day can be your last.

Examples: Wolverine, Claire (Heroes), Adam Monroe (Heroes)

10. Time Travel

Want to see the dinosaurs?  Or maybe have lunch with with Leonardo Da Vinci.  Or better yet, invest a couple of bucks in Microsoft during its infancy.  Yeah, have some laughs, make a few million.  It’s all good.  The biggest downside to this power is just how risky it is changing time.  You don’t want to end up in a world where everyone’s a doughnut.  Or do you?

Examples: Hiro (Heroes)

teleportation 9. Teleportation

If you’ve ever run late, had a crappy commute, or been stuck in traffic, you can understand how awesome teleportation would be.  With a thought you could be somewhere else.  Wake up five minutes before work and then just snap your fingers to appear at your desk early.  Want to take a long lunch? Teleport in and out with no one the wiser.  Forgot Grandma’s Christmas present? Just teleport home and back, a real life hero.  Teleporting earns its spot for the fringe benefits.  You might not easily win the lottery (though stealing stuff and teleporting away is doable) or get laid, but you’ll have so much more time not traveling, you can learn to play an instrument (to win over the ladies/men) or play the stock market (also to win over the ladies/men).  Or to really impress them, teleport past bouncers and guards to get into exclusive clubs/concerts or movie premieres.  Make yourself look like one of the social elite and many someone will actually fall for it.

Examples: Nightcrawler

8. Flight

Possibly the most romantic super-power of all.  Yes, we all remember Superman flying with Lois, but flying is romantic not just as an aphrodisiac.  It’s the idea of soaring in the sky, with total freedom – no boundaries.  This power will not provide you wealth or women but you’ll have the thrill of your life.  Plus, avoiding the traffic to work is always a plus.

Examples: Superman


28 coolest super powers – 21-15

Dr. Dolittle, 20th Century Fox 21. Talk to animals

You’ll feel like an idiot the first couple of times, but you can be a living Dr. Dolittle.  And while there’s many better things to do than be a veterinarian, talking to animals would lead to some amazing conversations…I expect.  Find out why dogs sniff each others’ butts, what do cows think of being tipped over, do horses like being ridden, and why does my cat hate me.  All these answers can be yours to share with the world…and then have them call you insane.  But it’d still be cool.  Plus, it’s a lot easier to teach your dog to use the toilet if you know how to say toilet in dog.

Examples: Dr. Dolittle

20. Walk through walls

Never worry about losing your keys again.  This simple power allows you to avoid all those annoying solid objects in the world.  Perfect for simply getting out of a crowded room (just walk through everyone) to the less moral bank robbery (reach your hand into any locked case).

Examples: Shadowcat

19. Illusion

We always try to fool our parents and friends with pillows in the bed or feigning sickness, but now you can fool them all without fail.  Make anything from your imagination come to reality and let it fool everyone around.  Make people think you’re wearing Armani or get rid of that pimple.  You could be totally naked with no hair and no one would no.  Joke’s on them.

Examples: Mastermind

18. Manipulate molecules

Think of this as telekinesis on the microscopic level.  Instead of moving objects with your mind, you’re just moving molecules.  So maybe you’ll have to study physics a bit, but this can be a pretty powerful power.  Rearrange molecules to make new, twisted objects or maybe even chemicals.  Beats actually cooking, just mix the flour and sugar together to make your cookies.  There’s probably other applications, but when there’s cookies, who cares?

Examples: Molecule Man

X-Ray glasses, from Amazon.com 17. X-Ray

Pick between door #1 and #2.  Now it’s not a guess, cause you can see what’s behind both.  So maybe this power works best on game shows, but there are other, naughtier applications for x-ray vision and the like.  Don’t tell me you haven’t imagined it.  I want to help diagnosis broken bones too.  Seriously.

Examples: Superman, X-ray glasses from comic books

16    Control weather

If you hate the rain and prefer 73 degrees, controlling the weather might be just for you.  If you want to skip work, call for a snow storm.  If you’re going the beach, make sure it’s sunny and warm.  Want the leaves cleared away?  Just call for a gust of wind.

Examples: Storm

15. See the future

You won’t get hit by the speed car cause you’ll see it coming.  At the same time you’ll make millions playing the stock market.  Sure some of the surprise in life will be gone, but risk and no reward is just no fun.

Examples: Destiny


28 coolest super powers – 28-22

This week Prodigeek highlights the 28 coolest super powers to have. These are super powers that can make your life better – easier to get fame, fortune, and fellatio. These powers also can just make your life easier.  Embarrassing side effects like turn blue are looked down upon (it hurts the fellatio…some of the time). So start hanging around nuclear test sites so you can have your very own cool super power.

Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors, from Warner Bros. 28. Control plants

It sounds corny, but think about how many plants there are.  Yeah, they’re everywhere.  There’s some limited application, but with some creative planning (and interior decorating) you can make your home a self-sufficient cleaning and producing machine.  Keep your yard stocked with fruits and veggies, make the vines paint your house, and keep a giant Venus fly trap around for security.  You’ll feel silly doing it, but it’ll be worth it.

Examples: Poison Ivy

27. Super agility

Jump 50 feet, do the limbo 10 inches off the floor, and bounce off walls like Daffy Duck.  Yes, the you can enjoy the acrobatic finesse of a trapeze artist or gymnast without all the sweat and toil and practice.  Sure this isn’t as glamorous as super strength, but think about all those kick-ass fighting games.  How fun are the tiny agile characters.  Yeah, the girls, but there were guys too.  And they were fun.  In an androgynous sort of way.  Still, agility is fun.

Examples: Spider-Man

26. Super senses

You can hear, see, touch, taste, and feel, flawlessly.  Ok, so maybe there’s some negatives (bad smells smell worse), but on the plus side, you can listen into any conversation in your office and help spread the gossip.  Or read the newspaper by feeling the ink raised on the paper (that’s what Daredevil does).  Super senses sounds silly, and always sniffing the air will make you look silly, but there’s still some fun to be had.  You wanna be like Wolverine don’t you?

Examples: Wolverine, Daredevil

Poker, form http://ur.rutgers.edu/medrel/images/poker.jpg 25. Probability control

So this may stink for fighting crime, but it rocks at playing craps.  Yes, don’t worry about that 1,000 to 1 shot cause with a snap of your fingers, it can be a sure thing.  Want to make that straight flush in Vegas.  No problem.  Any bets will be an easy win for you.  And to really impress your friends, mess with the probabilities to make your favorite win American Idol.  Yeah, that’ll show ’em.

Examples: Scarlet Witch

24. Immortality

So living past all your loved one might suck, but there are some pluses like never worrying about dying.  Yup, living forever can just be pretty damn fun.  You can travel the world, have ever experience, and never worry about filling each day as if it’s your last.

Examples: Duncan MacLeod (Highlander)

23. Control metal

Think of this as specialized telekinesis.  Move cars, planes, and dog collars with the power of your mind.  If you’re really powerful, you can even control the iron in people’s blood.  Yeah, get that blood rushing in all the right places.  You might have some limitations on your powers (you can only control metal, remember), but that’s a ton of stuff.  So don’t worry.  Be happy.

Examples: Magneto

22. Shoot elements/control elements

Human Torch, from 20th Century Fox

This is kind of a catch-all for being able to manipulate fire or water or air or earth.  Having all would obviously kick more ass, but let’s assume for the sake of this list that you only get one element, like the Human Torch or Iceman.  Different elements have different awesomeness about them from being able to warm yourself when it’s cold (or cool yourself in the heat), splash people in the face, and more.  It takes some creativity to makes these powers help your daily life – they’re much better for super heroing, but offer such a range of skills.

Examples: Human Torch, Iceman, Hydro Man, Terra


7 best super-hero siblings

Annoying brothers and sisters affect even the greatest heroes and villains of comic book world.  These pairs (and quartet) of spandex wearing freaks make sibling rivalry a moral lesson for us all, and page filler until the next battle.  These are the siblings worth watching fight and frolic, no matter the awkwardness.

7. Starmen, Jack and David Knight

The original Starman, Ted Knight, had two loving sons with different take’s on their father’s career choice. David quickly followed his father into super heroics while Jack looked down on the colorful profession. After their father’s old foe, the Mist, murdered David did Jack take over the Starman mantle. With the Cosmic Staff and a pair of goggles, Jack Knight fought crime with the annual assistance of his brother’s ghost, who imparted wisdom from the beyond to help Jack foil the doers of evil.

northstar_aurora 6. Northstar and Aurora

Canadian super-siblings Northstar and Aurora spent most of their youth separated after their parents’ death. The two coincidently reunited as members of Canadian super-team Alpha Flight, discovering they earn bonus super powers when in physical contact. When the two touched, they emitted a beam of light that made people feel happy and peaceful. How sweet. The power didn’t work on themselves, however, since they had a falling out leading Aurora to augment her powers so she never needed to touch her gay brother again. Homophobe.

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Geek Chic: What are the rules for Facebook Chat?

I’m a big fan of instant messaging – I find it the most efficient communication tool. It’s instant (obviously), share files and links, and I can do other things at the same time (which is harder on the phone). I’ve always over analyzed proper manners when IMing someone, and just when I’m getting the hang of it, Facebook comes along and messes up the whole rules system.

Facebook released their own instant messaging service two months ago, built into its social network, meaning if you have a Facebook account, you have Facebook IM. Unlike AIM or Google Talk, you just have to sign into Facebook and all your also signed in friends are shown as available in a taskbar. There’s no need to trade addresses, it’s all simple and automatic.

As a result, I don’t know who wants to use it and who doesn’t, making it hard to know who to IM and when.

Facebook Chat comes readily available on Digsby, my favorite IM client, so I can use the service just like any other instant messenger. Most of my friends use the taskbar on Facebook pages, requiring they keep the page open so as not to sign off. It also makes it hard to see when you get a new IM since your browser doesn’t flash announcing the new message. I’ve often tried sending messages to people who never saw them – they just closed their browser.

Thus even friends I ask about IMing miss IMs. And people I didn’t check with in advance is such a crap shoot – I never know if they saw my IMs and were so offended they ignored me, or if they just never saw them. That’s very stressful on my fragile social psyche.

The other challenge with Facebook Chat is simply knowing who you want to talk to. I have so many friends from high school, camp, and college that I lost touch with on purpose, not to mention the people I’m friends with just because. All these people show up on my friends list. I don’t necessarily want to de-friend them, but I certainly don’t want to talk to them. At least on Facebook they were buried with the other faceless faced masses. On Facebook Chat, I have a constant list (Facebook says they are working on this feature). Unfortunately, not being able to block specific people leads to people IMing me I don’t want to talk to. And since I use an IM client, I always see the IM.

Facebook Chat is still young. Hopefully as more people discover its features and value, it will become a great way of connecting with people, above poking them (which is still fun). But until Facebook Chat becomes valuable, we all need to learn how to use it. Starting with answering your IMs.


7 geekiest geek hobbies

There are many factions within the geek community, most viciously opposing and plot the death of other factions. Just try to get a Star Trek fan to agree with a Star Wars fan on anything. The truth is there is a hierarchy of geeks, and geeks in higher parts of that hierarchy are well in their power to look down on those lower in the hierarchy, the same way jocks and cheerleaders look down on all geeks. This list ranks the geekiest of geek hobbies in, well, order of geekiness. Enjoy one of these doesn’t make you a bad person. Just really, really geeky.

star_wars_geek 7. Star Wars geek

When it comes to sci-fi geekdom, Star Wars wins. It’s just huge, with every comic book, novel, action figure, and video game to collect, memorize, and horde. No other single franchise can match this insanity.

How to know if you are one: You have read anything Star Wars related outside of the 6 movies

Wastes money on: Anything Star Wars related outside of the 6 movies

anime_geek 6. Anime

Pokemon has helped turn anime into a less embarrassing hobby, as long as you are younger than 12. Once you his puberty, it’s time to hide those big-eyed cartoons and start watching South Park. But some geeks can’t break the habit. They just love the speed lines.

How to know if you are one: You understand anime

Wastes money on: Subtitle software and Japanese lessons

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Geek Chic: Best gaming snack foods

bagel_bitesPlaying video games requires intense concentration, physical exertion, and mental strain. Being interrupted by hunger can ruin the experience or worse, your high score. Keeping a stash of efficient and fulfilling snacks can be the key to successful, marathon gaming. Important factors to consider are the food’s greasiness (no slippery fingers), healthy (the worse, the better), crumbliness (less is more), and the fullness factor.

Bagel Bites

Filling and bite-sized, Bagel Bites give you the awesomeness of pizza on a bagel. And when pizza’s on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime.

Peanut M&Ms

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand. Plus, the peanut makes them healthy.

Pringles

The least greasy and best tasting (in this blogger’s opinion) potato chip. Stick with original over other flavors to limit finger discoloration.

oreosOreo’s

They can crumble and are better with milk, but if you solve lots of problems by keep them in the fridge, then eating each one in one mouthful. It’s challenging and fun.

Wheat Thins

A little healthy, but these cracker treats provide some fiber to offset the other crap you’re eating.

Foods to avoid

Buttery popcorn

Grease, messy, and it gets stuck in your teeth

Anything with a wrapper

Sadly, Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, Rolos, and other bite-sized candies lose out



Geek Chic: Geekiest sexual fantasies

Yes, Prodigeek is turning into the geek’s Dr. Ruth.  This may be a little more risque than my readers are use to (sorry Mom), but this is just a natural progression of the Geek Chic column.  Sexual fantasies are a fun and healthy way to "spend time" with your partner and us geeks have some creative ideas of our own (not me, I’m all about missionary style with a member of the same sex).  So for the more adventurous of you, it might be worth adding some of these ideas to your love play.  Remember costumes and props only add to the realism.  And plan your safe words ahead of time. 

spider-man_kissSpider-Man upside-down kiss

While harnesses might be above your price range, you can re-enact this classic comic book movie scene by simply leaning over a couch or chair.  The key is begin kissing with your heads facing opposite directions and see where they end up…

Batman and Robin

Just read any Batman comic pre-1954 and you’ve got a picture book with more creativity than the Kama Sutra.  From bondage to black leather to spandex, Batman and Robin offer a large assortment of variation in just one fantasy.  And while this is great for gay couples, don’t forget there have been girl Robins…

Superman and Lois Lane

It’s the classic love story of comic books.  And while the really kinky fetishy stuff might be sadly ignored (Superman, the Blue Boy Scout did grow up in small-town Kansas with old people), you can still replicate the romance.  A nice spandex suit, a dainty reporter’s outfit, and who knows, maybe another harness.  How else are you going to go flying…

slave_leia Slave Leia

A fantasy with the princess once involved flowing cloaks and hair in buns transforms into a skimpy bikini and chains.  George Lucas, you dirty, dirty man.  The big question for geeks is will you be Jabba the Hut controlling your slave, or Han Solo freeing her, cause I can see it swinging either way…

Angel and Spike

For the Buffy fans, Angel and Spike are two sides of the cliched coin.  You’ve got the soul-bearing and brooding hero and then the rocker, bad ass with a British accent.  So sure the accent might challenge some people, but who cares about talking, right?  Sadly, the two never hooked up (that we know of), so it’s up to our imaginations and fan fiction to make this happen (or you can always check out Spike’s appearance on Torchwood for some ideas).  Spoiler warning, but that might be a good thing here.


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